Peter65
Key Veteran
Location: Roxby Downs, South Australia.
| Why a lawyer should never ask a question of a witness if he isn't prepared
for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small town, prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand - an elderly grandmother.
He approached her and asked : "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded : " Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't
the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and
his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died!
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence,
called both counsellors to the bench, and in a very quiet
voice, said "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be
jailed for contempt."
Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it... |
