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Off Topics > Stupid jokes

BladeRunner
Elite Veteran
Location: Ontario Canada. Member of "some sort" s

You're standing in the center of a 10' square room, there is a window in the middle of each wall.....ALL facing South; There is a White bear outside.......Where are you????

A. North pole....

02-21-2004 03:12 AM

pistole
Veteran
Location: Heli Land ....

Actually the tank in the Attic ( a British thing ) is meant to provide +ve water pressure (vide gravity feed) to the whole house without needing to draw pressure from the mains supply.

This way , if everyone took a shower at the same time (in Britain) , theoretically , the mains would still have pressure , albeit , slightly less.

The tank has a float and an automatic stop valve.

We have the same system here in Malaysia since we were basically a British colony for ages. That and we also have septic tanks under our homes.................

More quesy stories later ...............................

Rap70. TT70.Rap50. TT50.RD8000.

02-21-2004 03:15 AM

Ted Toth
Elite Veteran
Location: Myrtle Beach S.C.

Quote
....... a minute to ...............

time to draw the drapes

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

02-21-2004 03:18 AM

HOMEPAGE

BladeRunner
Elite Veteran
Location: Ontario Canada. Member of "some sort" s

Ya, but, can they get ANY Lucas automotive product to work for more than 3 hrs???.......Hehehe........put down those weapons....I'm only kidding.......

........

02-21-2004 03:19 AM

pistole
Veteran
Location: Heli Land ....

I still have an Austin Mini 850 ( 1969 model ). Lucas cannot make a single electrical thing to save its life.

Rap70. TT70.Rap50. TT50.RD8000.

02-21-2004 03:22 AM

Ted Toth
Elite Veteran
Location: Myrtle Beach S.C.

OK Barry cease fire

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

02-21-2004 03:23 AM

HOMEPAGE

RobG
Senior Heliman
Location: Duncan BC. Canada

A guy walks into a bar and says.....

ouch!!

02-21-2004 08:48 AM

Drunk Monk
rrProfessor
Location: Preston, UK

Water Tanks

Look let me explain for some of our non British friends,

Water tank in attic stores water to supply house to take load of main water feed into house. 2 Bears are in the attic, which one is the solider? The one sat on the TANK (water tank), play on words

look if you have to explain a joke then it must not be funny, or your talking to americans

Only kidding

Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

02-21-2004 10:42 AM

Jagboy69
Key Veteran
Location: Lake Mary, Florida (20 mins East of Orlando)

Here's Lucas joke from an english car owner....

What are the 3 postions of a lucas switch??

Dim
Flicker
Off

or

Smoke
Smolder
Burn

Why dont the brits make computers???
They havent figured out how to make them leak oil yet.

As far as the water tank thing goes, the brits shouldnt feel too bad for poor taste in plumbing... The germans sometimes put the water heater right in the tub on the wall... Talk about getting in the way when your reaching for the soap

Jason /// Sceadu50/9chp WWW.Jagboy69.com

02-21-2004 11:02 PM

HOMEPAGE

G.Man
rrProfessor
Location: Northants, but soon to be Nicosia, Cyprus

WHats the last thing to go through a bugs mind when he hits your windshield?

His ass

Don't Email me as I wont reply - PM Only (spam countermeasures)

02-21-2004 11:07 PM

G.Man
rrProfessor
Location: Northants, but soon to be Nicosia, Cyprus

Horse walks into a bar.....

Barman says.... why the long face

Don't Email me as I wont reply - PM Only (spam countermeasures)

02-21-2004 11:18 PM

nheather
Veteran
Location: Horsham, West Sussex, UK

Out of interest what's the deal with Lucas?

Being an engineer I'm vaguely aware that Lucas make automotive components (amongst other things). As such I guess I know that many vehicles may have Lucas parts but I couldn't tell you which. As for the majority of the UK population, I suspect that they have never have heard of them.

Are Lucas parts a big thing in States and Canada?

Cheers,

Nigel

02-22-2004 09:55 AM

cfranks
Veteran
Location: Adelaide South Australia

A guy walks into a bar carrying a sandwich. Puts the sandwich on the counter and says to the barman "this is my buddy, give him a beer: "Sorry sir", says the barman, "we don't serve food in here".

02-22-2004 12:45 PM

Ted Toth
Elite Veteran
Location: Myrtle Beach S.C.

Blond soooooooo dumb
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

02-23-2004 08:28 PM

HOMEPAGE

Davo
Veteran
Location: London, UK

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your pants....

Your mom

02-23-2004 08:33 PM

sixeven
Senior Heliman
Location: Ft. Myers Florida

Lucas parts are the devil spawn!

For those who haven't had the pleasure of working on a Lucas electrical system.....Just imagine the joy of an entire cars electrical system being a positive ground.

basically, If it's not shorting out it's burned out.

SiXeVeN

02-24-2004 01:34 AM

Hirobo St.Louis
Veteran
Location: St. Louis

2 peanuts were walking down the road. One was a salted.

A.K.A. J.O.

02-24-2004 03:26 AM

HeLiFiEd
Senior Heliman
Location: Menlo Park, CA

what do you call a blind fawn?

i have no eyed deer

02-24-2004 03:33 AM

HOMEPAGE

john howard
Heliman
Location: sylacauga alabama

elephants