RunRyder - On a dark note... Parents

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Off Topics > On a dark note... Parents

cp8
Senior Heliman
Location: Buckeye State

Do parents have any rights in this day and age? Maybe the schools should spend more time on discipline, prayer and family values instead of instilling tools and amunition for a child to manipulate their parents.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

Drunk Monk
rrProfessor
Location: Preston, UK

Sounds like your venting some anger there dude?

Stephen

I only open my mouth to change feet.....

01-02-2004 Over year old.

cloudmax
Senior Heliman
Location: Bay Ridge Brooklyn,NY

I sure don't know the situation here but maybe if a little more work was put in over the past 15 years this family wouldn't be in the position they are in now. Schools and churches aren't there to raise children. neither is TV,radio,movies,etc... Parents are. Sounds like someone's passing the buck here.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

cp8
Senior Heliman
Location: Buckeye State

Point taken. I certainly do not feel schools are there to raise our children. I am mostly objecting to the intervention of school and state into how we choose to raise and discipline them these days. My gradeschool Principal had holes drilled in his paddle Behind His Desk! Now they hand the child his "rights" and tools to manipulate his way out of contributing should he so decide. It was no option before.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

RotorX
Key Veteran
Location: London

Look man, if the girl gets to the police first then what she says will be taken seriously, if the mother had gotten there first then it would be the girl that would be approached by the police. its a game of who got to the police first - and anything that is said is taken very seriously.

As for discipline, prayer and family values

amen to that brother - i will say a little prayer for you,

01-02-2004 Over year old.

cp8
Senior Heliman
Location: Buckeye State

01-02-2004 Over year old.

cp8
Senior Heliman
Location: Buckeye State

01-02-2004 Over year old.

hercules
Senior Heliman
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - USA

cp8, vent away, it may be better to get it off your chest and help organize your thoughts rather than letting them consume your every waking moment. Before I started my own business, I was a biology teacher for 2.5 yrs. I saw what your talking about everyday. I remember another teacher pat a student on the back shoulder area after saying "have a good weekend" only to hear the student yell "teacher touched me, teacher touched me!" Fortunately, the student was saying it as a joke, but you should have seen the face of the teacher when the halls went totally quiet! I had a parent bitching at me because her son was failing not just my class, but 3 others. She blamed me because her son didn't do his homework. I really got her mad when I informed her that she should be aware of the work her son was responsible for because I send out to the parents a list of assignments and their due dates( I did this monthly in case of changes or delays in the class). When she wouldn't stop her mouth from running, I informed her that I see her son for 50 min. a day. During those 50 min he doesn't contribute to the class and hinders others around him. I've talked with you on the phone about the problem and have given you ample warning of the direction he was heading. When he leaves my class and goes home it is your responsibility, not mine! I saw several cases like this per year. I came to the conclusion that the kids are the head of the house, not the parents!

01-02-2004 Over year old.

Peter65
Key Veteran
Location: Roxby Downs, South Australia.

This sounds like a problem around the world. There are too many people out there telling us as parents how to raise our children and how to punish them. These do gooders have made parenting very hard. You can not punish a child almost. If you say anything that hurts their feelings it abuse.
Children today (the leaders of tomorrow) have no sense of discipline. They know as a child they can do almost anything and get away with it. Even the police cant do anything any more except bring them home.

You cant even ground a child that is unlawful imprisonment.
God help us when they are leaders.

There has to be limits on punishment. Abuse is abuse but they have to know discipline.

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

01-02-2004 Over year old.

HOMEPAGE

Hughes500Pilot
Key Veteran
Location: Anaheim, CA

I need to add my two cents from two different points of view. First off as a father of 3 kids. I WILL raise them as I see fit. I use corporal punishment (spanking) when I deem it to be necessary. I make sure I spank for displine, not out of anger. I am the father and I will do what ever it takes to raise decent kids.

My next point of veiw is as a police officer of 13 years. Let me tell you, there are a lot of little ****s out there. They are this way for only one reason - Their parents did not discpline them when it was necessary. Now that the kids are 15 and joining gangs, drinking, doing drugs and getting into trouble, the parents call the police to "fix" their kids. We as police officers tell the parents up front and right to thier face - You should have thought about this 14 years ago. Dont expect us to solve your kids problems in 15 minutes when you had 15 years to turn them into little monsters. Then we leave.

Most of the time we get get complaints from these parents for "talking nasty" to them. Since our supervisors tell the idiot parents the same thing we told them while we were at their house, the complaint just goes away...

Bottom line, be a parent. Do what you need to do to raise good kids. Spank them if you need to - it's not agains the law. Just use common sense. Dont use a bat to beat them. Dont make them bleed. Dont hit them in the head... Just get your point across without leaving a mark. It's like hitting a dog with a newspaper. It does not hurt them, but they learn to respect (or fear) the newspaper. Fear is not a bad thing...

And dont think any cop in the world is going to arrest you for spanking your kids. We know what happens when kids are not displined and grow up to be little ****s. We police officers spend most of our day dealing whith these "grown up" little ****s.

-Steve

Click "Gallery" for photos of my helis...

01-02-2004 Over year old.

hercules
Senior Heliman
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - USA

Peter65, I agree! I have a theory about it. There are people who have come into positions of some influence that hated the way they were raised and felt the need to change it thinking they are doing some good. Ironicly, these very same people don't seem to realize or acknowledge the way they were raised has in large part enabled them to succeed! They have chosen to forget that for 5500+ years of written human history, children have been raised pretty much the same way. Suddenly, we change the methods about 15-20 years ago( I could be wrong) and now we have these problems that are being discussed here. Even with the these problems they still won't acknowledge their mistake! I guess they don't want to FEEL bad or think their being punished.

Happy New Year, I think!

01-02-2004 Over year old.

Peter65
Key Veteran
Location: Roxby Downs, South Australia.

Steve,

Excellent. That is what I like to see. I have nothing but respect for police officers and the work you do. I'd hate to have your job although I wanted to be a cop once. Joined the Military instead

I have 3 boys (2 teenagers) All I want for them is that they do better than me. Finish school, go to University, get a decent education and be good parents themselves.

Laughing at yourself will lengthen your life. Laughing at me will shorten it...

01-02-2004 Over year old.

HOMEPAGE

NitroSpazzz
Veteran
Location: Wisconsin and/or Minnesota

I am proud to be the kid in my family who is not a little ****. My 14 year old brother on the other hand is barely passing, has been caught drinking, is completely disrespectful of everything and doesn't care. They just don't understand that the parents are tryin to help out not make the world horrible. I get so mad when I see him talk back and start yelling at my parents. Little idiot doesn't realize that his 1.00 GPA looks bad to colleges and he is going nowhere if he keeps it up. His christmas vacation is consisting of daily 30 min-3 hour arguments where he sits and bitches because he has to do soo much make up work for all the stuff he doesn't do in class. I just don't understand it, I mean I am 17 and I respect my parents, they work their asses off to get us in the right direction. I mean for me my transplant would have been a real pain in the u know what withought my parents by my side. I just wish there was some way to get through to him and get him to stop f'in over his life. I mean me and my 12 year old brother are just fine, we have respect for one another, parents, everything but the 14 year old I donno. That who age group (the graduating class of 2007(if they make it) seem to be a mess.) I feel so sorry for the parents that have to put up wiht this crap. I think those kids need to face reality and realize that they have limits and they can't do whatever they want withought consequence. Ah I am glad I got that out, feels good.

Keep up the hard fight parents

Blake Tennessen
507.279.3930

01-02-2004 Over year old.

HOMEPAGE

AGRAV8
rrProfessor
Location: Mosquito Coast......Houston Texas

CP8

Next time the cops show up to referee a dispute, make it clear to them that unless THEY want to take the kid HOME WITH THEM and deal with it......then they should head on down the driveway and let family matters be just that.

I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old. Corporal was used very little, but with effectiveness. And I don't see this issue on the horizon either.

Feel for ya, man......good luck with the outcome.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

Parsifal
Veteran
Location: Singapore

Don't know about you guys but when i was a kid and did wrong... i remember getting a sound thrashing... hahaha.. I turned out ok... well... except for the occasional voices in my head.

Pars.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

HOMEPAGE

Squintz
Heliman
Location: Harford, Maryland - MD

My fiance and i both were raised with no abuse at all. We were never hit spanked or anything. And neither of us have ever used drugs or got arested or done anything to harm ourselves or anyone else. I am 21 and she is 22 and we both have full time jobs making 45k+ we are now raising 2 kids of our own and have just purchased a beautiful home. Sure i had my days where i did not listen to my mother, who raised me by herself for the most part. And her parents are still happily married and im sure she has mouth offed to them a few times.

We are two real life examples of why you should not abuse hit or whatever you want to call it. This goes for verbal abuse also. When your child does something wrong correct them in a positive way. Use positive words. They need to be able to trust you. If your telling them they are stupid slow dumb anything of this nature it sticks in their head and they start to believe it. If you two siblings are fighting dont send the to their room, Dont force them to read a book, or stand in a corner. Try simply loving them. All they want is attention. If your child mouths off catch them off guard by telling them you love them, Hug them and love them.

The only thing i regret from my mother is that she did not read with me enough.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

HOMEPAGE

RotorX
Key Veteran
Location: London

I used to get a ass kicking when i was younger, F**k that for a living, left home at 15 and never looked back.
I would not smack my children, if i had any, if you cannot convey the rules with some form of violence used to instill them, what are you teaching them - do what i say or i'll kick your ass, teach that to a young lad, and he will use it every where he goes - without the benefit of a adult brain to govern it............

Before you lay a hand on your child, think carefuly

01-02-2004 Over year old.

Woody218
Veteran
Location: Bismarck, ND

We can thank social workers and social services for helping to turn some kids into "little ****s". Parents are afraid to use corporal punishment for fear that they will be charged with child abuse. When my now 19 year old daughter was in day care many years ago, she made a comment to one of the workers there that when she really misbehaved, she got a spanking for it. The next thing I know, we have to go meet with some airhead social worker with the county social services, as we are being investigated for child abuse! We met with her, and when she asked me if I spanked the kids, I told her "I sure do" She then went on to tell me that they don't consider spanking to be an effective method of discipline. I told her when she started paying for my children's food, clothing, medical expenses and other costs, then she could tell me how to raise my kids. I further informed her that I had spoken with my attorney in this matter, (which I had) and if they bothered me again with such accusations, I was going to sue the county, social services, and anyone else involved. The meeting was over, and I never heard another peep from them again.

Gravity Always Wins!

01-02-2004 Over year old.

sodflyer
Veteran
Location: Frederick Colorado

It all comes down to how you raise them as others have said here... I grew up in Shreveport LA and although I’m only 33 when I was in school YOU were responsible for your own actions. in Elementary our music teacher had a wooden dowel for use if you started acting up.... one screw up and it was a whack on the knuckles ( ouch) along with the Principle that had a BIG paddle with holes even

.... then Mom and Dad, you got to go out and pick your own switch off of the tree. To the parents out there--- Don't give up on the goals for you kids! Keep them in line and they will grow up just fine. Jeff.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

cp8
Senior Heliman
Location: Buckeye State

What I do feel is that if that child you are dealing with has the temperment to have his way despite all else he will use any and every tool, including violence and threats to acheive his means. When dealing with the child today we are facing a GROUP. Mostly the group is there to protect the childs rights. Social workers, Psychologists, Doctors, Police, Educators, ALL back that child up. AND let them know at an early age they are there to "help". It is only geared towards the better interest of the Social worker, Phychologist or Educator. The Family must again become the foundation for morality and stability and MUST be helped as such. School and state should only follow or re-enforce and help the family unit.

01-02-2004 Over year old.

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