Jim C
Veteran
Location: Indiana, PA
| Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the
product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors
all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help! Thanks, A Troubled User.
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0
is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so
nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have
tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the
original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under “Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also
suggest that you read the entire section regarding 'General Partnership
Faults'! (GPFs.) Your Wife 1.0 does a scan for GPFs during it's monthly
program maintenance scan (PMS). You must assume joint responsibility for
any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will
also find that GPFs are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the
command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YESDEAR because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return
to normal anyway. Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you
share the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to
be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,
such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and
Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is
to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
should this happen. WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife
1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck, Tech Support.
 roflmmfao.... Jim
http://jimsrc.com |
