Philfly
Heliman
Location: Gilbert, Arizona. USA
| This is even funnier when you realize it`s real! Next time you have a bad day
at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you`ve been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it`s not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It`s a wet
suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to
a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I`ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do,
when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It`s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don`t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn`t stick to it, however, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn`t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you`re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Flying is easy, hitting the ground is hard! |
