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HeliHobby . Ron’s HeliProz South . Century Helicopter

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Women Pilots > Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

Hello all, I had a post in off topics which started when my wife called me at work and asked if a married guy sets up a meeting that is kept totally secret from his wife, is there something fishy here?
Also, she asks do I believe that a guy can have a friendship like this and "just be friends" and I know you know what is implied in that.

So, on your side(ladies) of this issue can a guy friend of yours just be friends (and not get any), or do you know that this is the ultimate goal?


Edit: she asked me because a friend of hers told her she discovered this meeting from an email left on their computer.

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
leslie
Key Veteran
Location: Hollis, NH - USA

Hi all,

Okay, I try this one. I have lots of guy friends and many girlfriends and one significant other. He enjoys all my friend male and female (okay most all).

The boys will come over and we tinker in the basement, he does not have a problem with this anymore than I do with his buds coming over to work on cars.

I suspect the problem comes in with the whole "secret" thing. Unless he is planning a surprise party for her... he's toast.

Cheers,
Leslie

Protecting those who protect us
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
ESWLFSE
Elite Veteran
Location: Terra Ceia, FL USA

MO: Guys do not have women "friends" without the ultimate goal being sexual relations. They will nurture this "friendship" for years if need be as long as that small possibility still exists somewhere in their minds. Very few exceptions to this rule.
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
Curiousdaughter
Heliman
Location: A field near Manchester, UK

Secret suggests that he thinks he has something to hide. Don't mix it up with simply neglecting to tell his wife though... theres a world of difference. As leslie said, unless he's planning a surprise party, it seems a tad fishy.

And yes, I have a bunch of male friends who are just that. We go out as a group (theres 5 of us) for coffee etc etc, but its not the sort of thing that I'd keep secret from a husband if I had one. Our closeness as a group could be intimidating to a partner, but we have known each other for years, which sort of makes it alright. I might get suspicious if my guy suddenly made this amazing new female friend!
08-17-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

Let me change the scenario a bit here then.
IF you were slightly exposed & maybe friendly ( only friendly) and your friend takes that extra step to you know what
1. would you just remind him you're just friends
2. take that situation as part of the friendship now
3. get his little a** out of your lifed now
4. or what?

Oh, would you let the guy reconcile with you saying he didn't mean it, bla bla bla?

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
leslie
Key Veteran
Location: Hollis, NH - USA

Hi all,

with that scenario, I would opt for option one. If there was a second attempt, he had best be wearing a cup.

Cheers,
Leslie

Protecting those who protect us
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
VT Fly Girl
Senior HeliGirl
Location: Rutland, VT

I don't think a married guy needs to be setting up a meeting with any women that is to be kept secret. What's wrong with talking on the phone if it's a surprise party. What if someone where to see them out together? The posibility exists, unless it's a sercret place, and that is no good either. It sounds to me like there's other reasons for this meeting. And there probably not good ones. Lori

Purring like a kitty, but flying with the Tigers!!! Yeah Baby! Lori
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
BelindaInMobile
Heliman
Location: Mobile, AL

Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"

To the 1st scenario, as a woman and being honest about this:
(1) 99.9 % of the time we jump to the wrong conclusion.
(2) We live hectic lives more than ever today and they could have just forgotten.
(3) TRUST, if you don't have that in your relationship its time to get out.

As for the 2nd scenaio:
(1) At the first attempt a stern NO WAY is enough.
(2) If tries again threaten charges or pyshical harm.
(3) If it happens again, its just plain stupidity and the gloves come off.

Belinda
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

So a guy can't say he's just "sampling" or having friends with previledges right?

I'm asking because the couple my wife told me about is farely new in marriage and the guy used to have these previledges while single and hasn't gotten out of his mind that his situation has changed.

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
BelindaInMobile
Heliman
Location: Mobile, AL

> Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"

Well let me put it this way, my granny had a saying. Once you say the big "I DO" you can look all you want but you can never touch or taste other goods. This is sound advice, you could get hurt in more ways than one.

Belinda
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
nivlek
Elite Veteran
Location: Norfolk England

Quote 
They will nurture this "friendship" for years if need be as long as that small possibility still exists somewhere in their minds. Very few exceptions to this rule.


The only exceptions to that rule are when the guy is gay .

At the end of the day , it gets dark .
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
BelindaInMobile
Heliman
Location: Mobile, AL

Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"

THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

Quote 
BelindaInMobile
> Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"

Well let me put it this way, my granny had a saying. Once you say the big "I DO" you can look all you want but you can never touch or taste other goods. This is sound advice, you could get hurt in more ways than one.



nivlek
quote]They will nurture this "friendship" for years if need be as long as that small possibility still exists somewhere in their minds. Very few exceptions to this rule.



The only exceptions to that rule are when the guy is gay .[/quote]

Quote 
At the end of the day , it gets dark
.

Thank you ladies, sometimes things are so obvious that guys JUST don't get it. These are very good and wise ways to go from here...

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
AGRAV8
rrProfessor
Location: Mosquito Coast......Houston Texas

I disagree

I have had several female friends since high school....attractive in their own right.....but my FRIENDS, not a potential "lay over".

I'm 46 now....guess if I were going to take a shot at dropping their drawers, I would have by now?????

Another classic example.....a best friends sister. NEVER let a piece get between yourself and your best friend. You'll ALWAYS lose in the end.

My thoughts.....please carry on.

James

GOOD guy list-39, BAD guy list-0
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

I'm in a similar situation, where I've had many female friends AND nothing has happened, but it is hard for my wife to believe that. If however the situation was turned around I know I would have a problem hoping nothing doesn't happen.
I know myself, I don't know those guys. Double standard, yes, however, I can stand by that because I haven't gone to the dark side.

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
BelindaInMobile
Heliman
Location: Mobile, AL

Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"

What I tried to get across was you can have close friends but to go beyond that only causes problems in any relationship, it does not matter which sex you are. Us women have a big tendency to jump to the wrong conclusions most of the time, and as I stated earlier it all boils down to the trust you have in one another.

Belinda

Ps. He has his female friends and I have my male friends and niether of us cross that line.
08-17-2006 Over year old.
 
 
airthumper
Senior Heliman
Location: Sacrament, CA

Quote 
1) 99.9 % of the time we jump to the wrong conclusion


The wrong conclusion about what?

I Fly So Good: BECAUSE I'M SPONSORED! ...what's this bill here?
08-19-2006 Over year old.
 
 
midwestpilot
Elite Veteran
Location: Crystal Lake, IL

men and women can be friends...

when they have a common like...take helis for instance.. I could hang out with a gal and work on helis and not want to get something out of it...

Now just being friends and hang out together with no common interests... then the only common interest is sex.

I guy would not want to be an emotional friend with out some kind of hidden agenda.

Hanging out an building helis and hanging out watching a movie or dinner are two different things... more so if it is just the two of you.

Harry met Sally.... has got it right

In life there is no spacebar!

Rich Erikson AMA 6175
08-20-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
sheperd
Heliman
Location: abbotsford

run for your life

Wow a secret meeting between old friends.why does it need to be a secret? This persone has an obscure vision of marriage if she thinks sneaking around to see people is a good idea. BE SURE YOUR SINS WILL SEAK YOU OUT That after ten years of marriage three kids two bouts of post pardem and one near death experience talking.
08-21-2006 Over year old.
 
 
sheperd
Heliman
Location: abbotsford

sneaky husband friend better have a good lawyer!

I do not understand any man or woman who would get invoved with a married person in secret.An affair is only that a fling for both.He will not leave his wife and she will not leave her husband. This type of meeting can only lead to disaster. Asumption is the mother of all ----ups. She will asume her husband is ok withit he wont, his wife will have his nuts and then what? alimony and lonliness.
08-21-2006 Over year old.
 
 
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Women Pilots > Do you believe a guys who says you're just "Good Friends?"
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