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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > Limerick This!
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv

I'll start. Here's a couple favorites:

There once was a woman from Nizes
whose breasts were of two different sizes.

One was so small
it was nothing at all.

The other -- so large it won prizes.
_____

There once was a man from Nantucket
who got his foot stuck in a bucket.

He said with a gleam
as he split the pail's seam

"When the bucket gets stuck I unstuck it!"



op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-23-2006 Over year old.
 
 
cudaboy_71
Elite Veteran
Location: sacramento, ca, u.s.

There was a young poet quite fine,
Whose limericks repeated a line.
Though this was redundant,
Though this was redundant,
His limericks repeated a line.

There was a Soviet captain named XXXXXXXXXX
Who was a XXXXXXX technician in XXXXXXXXX.
He was XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
For failure to clear
Limericks with his superiors.

There was a young bard of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When they said it was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know,
But I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

if it ain't broke…break it.
04-23-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



I once nearly fried a new clutch
cuz I started with stick up too much

As the flight line got tense
and the smoke cloud got dense

the clutch got quite hot to the touch


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-23-2006 Over year old.
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



Alan and Alan and Dan
have this chopper stuff firmly in hand

The way they all fly
(You can't blink an eye!)

leaves me willing to spend all I can


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-23-2006 Over year old.
 
 
buzzys dad
Heliman
Location: telford shropshire england

the boy stood on the burning deck eating red hot scallops, one slid down his trouser leg and burned him on the knee, (missed his bol**c*s completely)
04-23-2006 Over year old.
 
 
cudaboy_71
Elite Veteran
Location: sacramento, ca, u.s.

^^^^

translated from another language or something???? or freeverse limerick time?

if it ain't broke…break it.
04-24-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



There is this one RunRyder member
a member since late in December

His limericks blow
cause he doesn't know

that a limerick always has certain number of lines, and a cadence,
and that some of the lines also rhyme, sometimes in pairs.


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
Mr Fluffy
Senior Heliman
Location: Last train to transcendental

((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) 9^2 + 0

Or :-


A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
equals nine squared and not a bit more.


This limerick was written by Jon Saxton



of course it's the same helicopter love. Would I lie to you ?
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
cudaboy_71
Elite Veteran
Location: sacramento, ca, u.s.

Quote 
((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) 9^2 + 0



that's quite a profound verse line
one worthy of its spelled out punchline
but, if i'm not mistaken
one liberty you've taken
you've forgotten the equals sign.

if it ain't broke…break it.
04-24-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
Mr Fluffy
Senior Heliman
Location: Last train to transcendental

'twas Jon not me that wrote it
the equals sign I missed it
you see I'm quite dim
over the years too much gin
hence the last line of this is rubbish.



of course it's the same helicopter love. Would I lie to you ?
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv

Now we're cooking. These techno-limericks have me all a-tingle. I've got my slide rule in one hand, and . . . uh . . . nevermind . . .

MORE!

op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
MaceT
Heliman
Location: Fort Worth, Texas

There once was a fellow named Bright
Who's speed was much faster than light

He left one day
in a relative way

And returned on the previous night.
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



Whenever I'm flying my heli
my transmitter rests on my belly

I try not to laugh
or be foolishly daft

cuz the belly bounce bounces my heli


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
cudaboy_71
Elite Veteran
Location: sacramento, ca, u.s.

for gimbalfan...these are nicked from the 1997 physics limerick contest:

A friend who's in liquor production
Owns a still of astounding construction.
The alcohol boils
Through old magnet coils;
She says that it's "proof by induction."

There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!

A proton once said, "I'll fulfill
My long-term belief in free will.
Though theorists (may) say
That I ought to decay
I'm damned if I think that I will."

if it ain't broke…break it.
04-24-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv

The belly bounce is bouncing my heli!

op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-24-2006 Over year old.
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



"To dwell on a limerick thread
is a big waste of time!" she said

So I told her, "It's fun...
... spinning rhymes on the run...

... there's a shot that this thread ain't yet dead


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-28-2006 Over year old.
 
 
cudaboy_71
Elite Veteran
Location: sacramento, ca, u.s.

There's a chance for sure
But, for the skills shown so far
I propose haiku

if it ain't broke…break it.
04-28-2006 Over year old.
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv

Quote 
I propose haiku

A new idea here
might give limericks the boot
Live, limericks, live!


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-28-2006 Over year old.
 
 
GimbalFan
Elite Veteran
Location: Copter County, Nv



this thread has slowed down
no limericks, no haiku
time to make coffee

<slurp . . . aaahhh>

When limericks lovely and true
pour forth from out of the blue

then many a poet
who may not yet know it

may caffeinate limericks too

<burrpprp>


op-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-thwõp-t
04-29-2006 Over year old.
 
 
leftspin
Heliman
Location: Seattle, WA - US

There once was a limerick thread
that was wrongly mistaken for dead,

when in truth it won't stop
while there's poems to top,

and it isn't yet time for my bed.
05-02-2006 Over year old.
 
 
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