Billy Zimmerman
Key Veteran
Location: Rainier Oregon
| Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the trailer
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was stailer
the tubestocks hung empty no candy or toys
and I was camped out in my old lazy boy
the kids they werent talkin to me or my wife
the worst christmas they said they had had in their lives
well my wife couldnt argue and neither could I
so I just watched tv and my wife she just cried
when all of a sudden the dog started barkin
I stood up to look and saw Sherriff Larkin
he said, "Roy, I'm sworn to uphold the laws and I gotta complaint here from a feller named Clause."
"Clause, I dont know nobody named Clause and you aint takin me in without a probabal cause"
Then the Sherriff he said." The man was shot at last night"
"Well, that might have been me just whats he look like?"
"He's a jolly old fella with big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly, he sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry..."
I said, "Sherriff, that sounds like my wife's sister Sherry!"
"It's no time for jokes Roy", The Sherriff he said, "The man I'm describin is dressed all in red, It's time for the truth now, its time to come clean, tell me what ya done and tell me what ya seen."
Well I started to lie and thought, "What the hell" It wouldnt be the first time I spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sherriff it happened last night about 10 and I thought my wife had been drinkin again, she walked in from work and she was white as a ghost, I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's, but she said a bunch of deer just flown over her head and stopped on the roof of my good neighbor Red. I went out to look and the site made me shutter, a freezer full of innocence standin right on Red's gutter. Well my hands were a shakin as I grabbed my gun, when out of Red's chimney this feller did run, and on his back was a bag over flowin, I thought He'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin.
So I yelled, "Drop it fat boy hands up in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadnt a care.
So I popped a warnin shot over his head, well haha he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him exhort, "Thats assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court!!"
MERRY CHRISTMAS RUNRYDER
Raptor 90 SE YS91,Tiger50 OS50 Hyper, Vblades, OS&YS engines, Hitec Eclipse7 |
